The Meat of the Matter

Prestidigitation

Many moons ago, I used to be a "Walt Disney Imagineer." We were the alleged "creative pool" for the theme parks. One nice perk was that we used to have a weekly event called a "Wednesday Breakfast." On that day, all the illustraters, producers, designers, and writers used to gather in a little tiny amphitheater and be amazed and/or entertained by some of the world's most amazing and entertaining amazers and/or entertainers. The most unforgettable Wednesday Breakfast was the day a world famous magician came to amaze and entertain us. I won't say his name (mostly because I don't remember it). But he was supposed to be really famous--especially for his card tricks. Well he made a very big deal about himself, then went on to explain that he ... HE ... was about to unveil his greatest trick ever to us ... for the very first time. Disney's entire brain trust huddled around him in the dim light of the amphitheater and prepared themselves to be amazed and entertained. These are people who are experts at illusion, mind you. They know to watch the off-hand during a card trick. Then ... the magician whose name I can't remember started shuffling, cutting, and doing "stuff" to the cards. He asked a volunteer to do something, then did a bunch more clever movements. Then he turned over a card and the guy's face just .... sorta collapsed. At first I thought it was a ploy, naturally. But he grabbed all the cards an started reshuffling and explained to us all that ... well ... this was his first time to try it so now and then these things happen. I was still incredulous. Certainly this is all part of the show for a magician this allegedly amazing I thought. But no. He failed a second time. Then a third time. I actually saw with my own eyes, a man utterly ruin himself with distress. Not only did he crash and burn, he crashed and burned in front of a bunch of people who he wanted desperately to impress. I must admit, while I felt bad for the man I also found it extremely hilarious. And I must also admit, I felt a curiously similar emotion when learning that yesterday the Senate voted again on an amendment to outlaw the desecration of the US Flag. On one hand I feel angry that the Republicans who introduced the bill would have such disdain for our governmental process as to waste so much of the Senate's time AGAIN--at a time when our nation is in crisis. Then I remembered that these are the same assholes who tried to ban Gay Marriage a few weeks ago--at a time when our country was in crisis. Republican Senate Majority Leader Bill Frist bemoaned that "Old Glory lost today." Fuck you Frist. It did not. YOU lost. You're just a very bad magician. We're watching your off-hand, and that hand is manipulating the public and stealing news cycles away from the issues that really matter to this country.

A Thought from a Founding Father

I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it. - Thomas Jefferson And here's the latest from someone who is not a founding father: Senator Wants to Prosecute the NY Times for Reporting Details of US Government Bank Monitoring. A tip to investors: go long on Jackboots.

Knock Knock Knockin' On Fascism's Door

"Justices made it easier Thursday for officers armed with search warrants to barge into homes without knocking or waiting. Evidence collected in those searches doesn't have to be thrown out, the justices decided 5-4." Read the full story here. And now we're seeing evidence of the police state unzipping it's fly and revealing its oh-so-subtle furor over its citizens. That a policeman must knock before entering a home is a legal tradition that dates back to the 13th century. (I hear that on the radio -- can't back it up with a reference sorry.) But regardless, this important safeguard of privacy has now been 86'ed like the town drunk. Anywhere, anytime, police may break your door down and search your house without even knocking. A warrant is required, of course. That is unless the President wants to do it ... Sleep well, Americans.

A Little Q&A

Question: You’re the President of the United States, you have thirty-seven scandals going on. You and your administration have lied to the nation repeatedly. You've spied on your citizens. For political advantage, you sold out a CIA operative who was providing you valuable insight into the war on terror. You’re waging a war that you deceived the nation into fighting, and you’re losing thousands of American lives because of bad strategy, under-funding, and failure to admit error. An election is coming up that may cause you to become a lame duck President. What do you do? Answer: Push a ban on gay marriage! It's brilliant! It will muddy the waters, divert the nation’s attention from what an abysmal, shitty job you’re doing, and focus the attention on those nasty gay-sex people! [applause]

More changes

One's mind reels. On Thursday I got the job. On Friday I found a new place to live, and on Saturday we put our house up for sale. Sheesh. I had an astrologer once tell me that Jupiter was in retrograde almost my entire life, and this is why I would always have changes going on. OK fine. I will be moving to Newport Beach, to an area called the "Back Bay." I'll be five minutes from my kids, and will be able to go on walks without debating whether or not I should bring a weapon. We have bike trails through a nature preserve that begin without us even having to cross a street. We are, however ... renting. This is all part of my nefarious plan to watch as the housing market tumbles. Then later we will purchase something a little nicer that we wouldn't be able to afford now. Unless of course, the market doesn't fall. If this happens, I'm screwed.

News

After over six years with my current employer, I have accepted an offer to move to a new company. I will get paid more to do a job that doesn't make me want to commit ritual suicide every weekday morning. Good times!