The Meat of the Matter

A Little Q&A

Question: You’re the President of the United States, you have thirty-seven scandals going on. You and your administration have lied to the nation repeatedly. You've spied on your citizens. For political advantage, you sold out a CIA operative who was providing you valuable insight into the war on terror. You’re waging a war that you deceived the nation into fighting, and you’re losing thousands of American lives because of bad strategy, under-funding, and failure to admit error. An election is coming up that may cause you to become a lame duck President. What do you do? Answer: Push a ban on gay marriage! It's brilliant! It will muddy the waters, divert the nation’s attention from what an abysmal, shitty job you’re doing, and focus the attention on those nasty gay-sex people! [applause]