The Meat of the Matter

These Are Not the Droids You're Looking For

According to CNN, Bush claimed that "We do not torture" detainees. OK, that's good. At the same time, the Senate has recently passed legislation that bans torture. That would make sense, since the President says we do not torture. Cool. Great. This is all consistent. Looking good guys. Then, at the same time according to CNN: "With Vice President Dick Cheney as the point man, the administration is seeking an exemption [to the new Senate Legislation] for the CIA. It was recently disclosed that the spy agency maintains a network of prisons in eastern Europe and Asia, where it holds terrorist suspects." Additionally, the organization that were previously monitoring the CIA at its detainment camps--organizations like the Red Cross--were never given access to these secret camps. So they were unable to state whether any torture happened there, but my hunch is that these previous installments of the Gulag Archipelago are simply bearing a sign stating "Under New Management." The KGB has been usurped by the CIA. Bush and Cheney want to bless this ban on torture, with one small exception as it applies to the CIA, even though "we don't torture." This double-speak is getting so hilarious that one of these three things must be true: 1) Bush hasn't realized that most Americans stopped drinking his Cool-Aid several months ago, or 2) Bush doesn't read the news regarding what Cheney is doing, or 3) Bush is a sock puppet, and the hand holding it belongs to an epileptic. Godspeed, 2008. Godspeed.