Wednesday, December 08, 2004

Glo-Bull Warming

Michael Crichton has a new book out. It's a book that implies the entire "global warming" theory is a hoax. Before anyone reads it, I want you all to know that I thought of it first, and that Michael stole my idea. (If Michael's lawyer is reading this, I'm JUST KIDDING. But I did think of it first.) I've never thought that "Global Warming" was a legitimate condition, and have scoffed at it for over a decade now. My friends have called me a lunatic--how could I be so opposed to a fact that is accepted by everyone? To this I usually say something sarcastic like, "Ummm ... widespread, popular belief makes this theory credible ... how?" I've never seen any compelling facts that lead me to believe that global warming is even remotely real. Here's a little "bullshit alert" system I use that helps me know which popular "scientific" beliefs might be suspect: 1. Does it create fear? 2. Do the facts come from a human-based, (rather than geologically based) timeline? 3. Are there some scientists who will profit by the wide-spread belief in this theory? 4. Is the theory gaining impetus and becoming disconnected from the original facts that lead to the theory? 5. Do the vast majority of *real* experts give credibility to the theory? The answer to all these questions has the global warming "bullshit scale" pegged all the way over to "steaming and smelly." 1. Yes 2. Yes 3. Yes 4. Yes 5. No Granted, these answers are certainly no proof that global warming is patently false, it merely states that the theory is suspected of being false. I have, however, explored the facts and read enough that lead me to believe that my suspicions are true. The bottom line is that in my opinion, we're not all going to get baked to death like earthworms on the sidewalk. And the "hole in the ozone" theory fits the same suspicious criteria as well. Good news! We're going to live! Well okay, actually we're not. But it won't be due to global warming or evil UV rays.


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